Gold jokes
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?
Tupac
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
My puns are awesome, pure gold.
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get a fresh set of GRILLZ.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
What do we find at the end of every rainbow?
The letter W.
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.