I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”.

The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes.

The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".

The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

What objects have the most gravitational force. A lambo and a gold digger

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Not being r.....ed

There were three boys on the top of a slide. The first one went down yelling “gold!” and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted “pillows!” and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted “weeeeeeeee!”

i had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet…

for 20 seconds…

and only once… :(

whats black, gold and red all over? Tupac in Vegas.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

You should never date a prospector. They’re all just gold diggers.

the gold coast titans winning the nrl. best joke ever

Q. There were 2 sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named? A. Denephew.

How did Voldemort lose his nose? From uncontrolled Gold Mining!

what do u call a gold digger? a miner

Why did the vegetable go to jail? He kaled a man and stole a 9 carrot gold bar.

I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden

What do call a girl with no legs…Sarah What do you call an olympic gold medalist skiing… not Sarah

What’s red gold and blank in los Vegas.

Tupac

my puns are Ausome, pure Gold

why do men sag there pants so low and still wear a belt

the same reason women bring their purse on a date and don’t pay

What’s the difference between a boy and gold? More people want gold.

A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth… I don’t have any now.

All doggie go to heaven -or so I’ve been told. They run and play along the streets of Gold. Why is heaven such a doggie-delight… Why,because there’s not a single cat in sight.

whats better than poo

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