Death jokes

I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

Why is Death the world's biggest slut?

Death gets to f*** everyone.

What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?

Their ankles.

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.

So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?