What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Death Jokes
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
