Death jokes

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.

Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.

SPOILER ALERT...

I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!

Why would a dead guy lie?

Because he can't stand up.

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

What did I say to the bridge?

Bye, bridge.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

Why is the graveyard so noisy?

Because of all the coffin : )