Death jokes

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

What did the helicopter say to the mountain?

Kobe.

What's a chicken's deadliest day?

Friday.

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.

If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Why would a dead guy lie?

Because he can't stand up.

Why is Death the world's biggest slut?

Death gets to f*** everyone.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.

Man: I wish not to die a virgin.

Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!

What did I say to the bridge?

Bye, bridge.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!