Death jokes
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
omg im sobbing so hard, saddest yt comment ever bro, challenge, find a sadder one
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Stephen Hawking is not dead; he just needs to charge.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔