Death jokes
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, thatโs how Paul Walker got sent to Godโs inbox.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
Whatโs George Floydโs favorite color? Neon black.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldnโt see the road to heaven.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.