Death jokes
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.