Death jokes
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"