Death jokes

How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, she was electrocuted.

Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.

Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words:

"What the fuck is in this drink?"

How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!

What do emos do?

Hang.

Can I pin your corpse to a tree?

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.

My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?

A 24 killstreak!