Death jokes
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣