Death jokes

Imagine. Kobe could not.

I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...

My dog died today. 😥

Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.

I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.

What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?

The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?

Because he’s dead.

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!

Friend 1: Did you?

Depressed friend 2: I didn't!

Friend one: Swear on your life!

Depressed friend 2: I swear.

A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.