Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
Death Jokes
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
#RIPBOZO
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
Whoever said that about me better pray!
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
