Death jokes
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.