Death jokes

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

"Knock, knock."

"Orphan: Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.

Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.

I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.

"Death to the west!"

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!

Too bad it's a dying trade. :)

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?

Fall Guys.

What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?

The pose!

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.