Death jokes

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."

What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!

What do emos do?

Hang.

Can I pin your corpse to a tree?

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!

Friend 1: Did you?

Depressed friend 2: I didn't!

Friend one: Swear on your life!

Depressed friend 2: I swear.

A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.