Death jokes
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
Memes
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
I love jumping off cliffs.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.