Death jokes
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Kobe never died, he just faded away.
What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?
Both can't breathe.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
I put the fun in funeral.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.