Death jokes
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Imagine. Kobe could not.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
#RIPBOZO
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”