Death jokes
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!
What do emos do?
Hang.
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.