Death jokes
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
I don't want to die.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"