Death jokes

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.

Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.

How did a man know his wife died?

Dishis start piling up.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.