Death jokes

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

"Death to the west!"

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.

Orphan: Where... Oh.

-->[]life death[]<--

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.

Who hit the ground first?

The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.

Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?

He pasta-way...

#RIPBOZO

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

Why do orphans die young?

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.