Death jokes
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.