Death jokes
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
Imagine. Kobe could not.
#RIPBOZO
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Memes
George Floyd in a nutshell.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.