Death jokes
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
I love jumping off cliffs.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.