Death jokes
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Why do orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents aren't!
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave. Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work. Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.