Death jokes
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?" I answered, "6 feet underground."
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white...?
A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.