Death jokes
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.