Death jokes
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.