Death jokes

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker

Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.

Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?

No, because he is dead.

Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.

Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.

Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

Why did Technoblade die?

'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.