Death jokes
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Where do orphans have their family reunions?
The graveyard.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.