Death jokes
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Where do orphans have their family reunions?
The graveyard.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.