Death jokes
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.