Death jokes

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.

Which do you choose?

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?

A. "Till I Collapse."

What do skeletons do with their organs?

They organize them!

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

What instruments do skeletons like to play?

Trombones.

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!

-->[]life death[]<--

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

I am a dead baby. -end joke-

Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.