Death jokes
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
#RIPBOZO
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
What instruments do skeletons like to play?
Trombones.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.