Death jokes

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

What do skeletons do with their organs?

They organize them!

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?

Dead ends.

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

Any 8 year old: Sus!

Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!

Why do orphans go to the market?

To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.

When does an emo get jealous at a phone?

When it dies.

April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.

Orphan: Where... Oh.

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!