Death jokes
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.