Death jokes
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈