Death jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈

"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...

1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.

Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?

No, because he is dead.

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...

Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.

Why did Technoblade die?

'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.

Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!

Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!

Me: Why? They don't land well together?

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.