Dark Humor
Wanna hear a joke?
Rape.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
What did one depressed kid say to the other?
Hey, wanna hang together?
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?
Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?