Not Dead Yet

This is a dark joke that plays on the grim situation of a patient being taken to the morgue while still alive. The humor arises from the doctor's callous and matter-of-fact response, treating the patient's not-yet-deceased status as a mere logistical detail.

• Morgue
• Doctor
• Dark Humor
• Funeral
• Death
• Hospital

• Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news. Patient: What's the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What's the really bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
• Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir. Me: What? Am I dying? Doctor: No, your wife is.
• So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
• Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave. Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work. Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.