Dad jokes
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
My dad coming back.
Your Dad.
What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Your dad is your mom.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.