A man marries a blonde chick, live a happy life together and the man asks his wife if she wants kids she says "yes". So, a couple years go by, they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question"
I've never seen my dad since September 11, I wonder where he is....
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A little girl walks into the bathroom see her mom naked taking a shower and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get breasts ..mom say oh when your 12 or 13 ..little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get hair down there ..mom say oh about the same time you get breasts..then the little girl walks in see her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks daddy daddy when am I gunna get one of those ..dad says soon as your mom leaves for work
I Love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball though.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed "I want to see your face again mommy...". A miracle happened, his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said "I want to see you too dad". He looked at his father's grave but nothing happened
Suddenly a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked "were you looking for me?"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.
Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don't have to read this!
So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I saw a dad shaved his daughters head because she made fun of a woman with cancer. Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant women🤭
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
I see a kid crying in the park right. So I go up to him and say " hey where are your parants" and he says "well my dad left to get the milk and never came back and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda triangle
i hate when ppl make jokes ab the twin towers. my dad died on 9/11 he was a great pilot
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad)
pls help my dad is a addict he wont stop and he eats my food. Sometimes i think should i kill him but nah he will go down with the others who did that too.
Being insest isn't that bad, I was fingering my sister and I found my dad's old wedding ring. winner winner!
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: "You told me to aim up high".
Q:What was my son's last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
