Dad jokes

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?

They are both off the map.

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

What show do orphans hate?

"American Dad."

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.

What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!

What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"

Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?

Your dad must be a mailman.

At what point does a joke become a dad joke?

When it disappears and never returns home.

I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.