Dad jokes
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.