Dad jokes

How's your dad?

What? I forgot he's still sleeping.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...

Me:...

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?

Your dad.

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

Kids?

Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.

I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.