Dad jokes

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

Mert has no dad.

Raihan fucks Ahmed who fucks Zupporah.

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?

Your dad.

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Dad: Don't know, why?

Son: Because they taste funny.

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.