Euphemism jokes
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
What’s another name for cumming in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.