Euphemism jokes
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
"Let's go Brandon!"
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"
Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
What do you call an army of disabled people?
Special forces.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.