Cut jokes
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
He got a paper cut and bled out.
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
What do you get when you cut an onion?
Onion jizz.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.