Cut jokes

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Someone cutting the cheese then farted.

Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

Why are farts a nice break for emos?

They get to cut cheese.

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

This is how animals were named.

"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?

"Bison. Perfect."

Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!

Why do egos like robbing banks?

They get a cut.

My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.

Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!

What did the orphan say to the barber?

I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.

I should probably stop making emo jokes.

They just don't seem to cut it anymore.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.