Cut jokes
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.