Cut jokes

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!

"Dad, did you get a haircut?"

"No, I got them all cut!"

Why are farts a nice break for emos?

They get to cut cheese.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

What did the orphan say to the barber?

I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.

So it can cut itself.

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

Making a comforting breakfast.

But you have a knife.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To cut through traffic.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!