Cut jokes
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
He got a paper cut and bled out.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.