Cut jokes

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.

Don’t cut yourself up about it.

What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.

Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.

What do you call emo girls?

Cutting boards.

Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?

Because they keep cutting in line.

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

Emo grass cuts itself, while transgender laundry hangs itself.

When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.