Cut jokes
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To give everyone FRESH CUTS.
How do butts start a conversation?
"Let's cut to the chase!"
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!