Cut jokes
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Cut.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!