Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
How do butts start a conversation?
"Let's cut to the chase!"
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To give everyone FRESH CUTS
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Q. Why aren't emo jokes funny? A. They always seem to cut a little too close.
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
Emos They're always a cut above the rest.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
