Cut jokes

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!

What do you get when you cut an onion?

Onion jizz.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!

He got a paper cut and bled out.

What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?

Cut the rope.

What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

What's the one game emos hate?

Cut the rope.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

"I like ya cut G" means two different things.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.

I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"