Cut jokes

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

What do you get when you cut an onion?

Onion jizz.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

He got a paper cut and bled out.

What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?

Cut the rope.

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!

Someone cutting the cheese then farted.

Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.

Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.

What's the one game emos hate?

Cut the rope.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."