Cut jokes

My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

How do you make the grass cut itself?

Make it depressed.

What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?

A cutting board.

I love you like my cuts.

Deeply.

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"

"It's a girl."

What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

"I like ya cut G" means two different things.

Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.

What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.

What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.