Crime jokes
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Q. When is it bedtime at Jeffrey Epstein's house? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
Roses are red, Larry is bad.
I'VE GOT A GUN, get in the van!
Bill Cosplay
Pedophiles are really stupid and need to leave this earth.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
How do you get away with rape?
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
Teacher, what do you call sex making out with a C.I.W.?