Crime jokes
How do you get away with murder?
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
Mohamed Atta would probably be pretty mad at these posts.
Memes
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
Joke: CookVR
Cruel and unusual punishment.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
He wanted to be wanted! 😢😂
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
Hit'em with the Ted Bundy.
What's the difference between Axne and a priest??
One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.
Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.
His husband said, "What's your question?"
Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"
His husband said "Yes?"
Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"
POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.