Crime jokes
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?" Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?
The retarded kid down the street.
Hardest part about being a paedophile?
Fitting in.
What's the difference between Batman and Robin?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."