Crime jokes
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
What is fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
got kidnapped
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.