Crime jokes
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Memes
When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?
A. "Pieces of You."
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.