Crime jokes
I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.