Crime jokes
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
Memes
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!