Crime jokes
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.