Crime jokes
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Memes
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...