Crime jokes
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.