Crime jokes
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.