Crime jokes
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
Why do school shooters have the best shots?
They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"