Crime jokes
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
Memes
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."