Crime jokes
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
She said no, so I raped her.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
Memes
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?
A. "Pieces of You."
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.