Crime jokes
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
She said no, so I raped her.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?
A. "Pieces of You."
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!