Crime jokes
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.