Crime jokes
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Memes
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.