Crime jokes
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Memes
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.