My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
Crime Jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
