Crime jokes
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Memes
FOR REALLLLL
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.