Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel it’s skin off.

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”

why did helen keller wear skin tight pants?

so you could read her lips

How do you make a pink smurf

You peel the skin off

You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ?

One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

whats red and screams when you shake it? a skinned baby in a bag of salt

Beneath this monumental stone Lise 80 pounds of skin and bone

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

*tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. i mean, there’s a skele-ton of em! you gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. besides, if ya don’t know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. did those tickle your funny bone? now i’ve been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. now if you hate all these, i won’t be bothered, i got thick skin! but first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. now, i gotta go to grillby’s. they got a discount on spare-ribs. bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

So your human huh well Im a skeleton so not much gets under my skin

Tell all the skeleton jokes you want ,but I’ve got thick skin.

Sans: why couldn’t the skeleton go to prom Papyrus: Why. AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!! Sans: Sorry didn’t mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS…wait Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says “Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die.” The man from France said, “bring me the poison.” The man from Britain said, “bring me the gun” And the man from New York said, “bring me a gun as well!” The guy was confused but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shotting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, “Well…sh!# that didn’t go as planned.”

walked in to a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade

whats bright red and screams when you shake it? a skinned baby in a bag of salt.

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid, A banana. But if youre vegan you call him food. If youre poor you eat the skin.

Whats that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women