Skin Jokes

Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin

why did helen keller wear skin tight pants?

so you could read her lips

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid, A banana. But if you`re vegan you call him food. If you`re poor you eat the skin.

ok this isnt a joke but its funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, its not what you think, its a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

you know what really gets me under my skin when im down? sharpener blades

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5 year olds face

My arms are just a diffrent texture pack compared to my body.

After long consideration, I’ve decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

How do you make a pink smurf

You peel the skin off

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term,"red skin appreciation".