Jail jokes

Age is just a number,

Jail is just a room.

In jail, why is the white guy scarier than the black guy? Because the white guy actually did something.

A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.

But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

Why did the picture go to jail?

Cause it was framed!

What kind of star would go to jail?

A shooting star!

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

Why did the skeleton go to jail?

Because he was bad to the bone!

I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

Why do homeless people commit crimes?

They get a bed in jail.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Why did the credit card go to jail?

'Cuz it was guilty as charged!

In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.

Things you never want to do in jail:

- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?

There is a small medium at large.

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.