Crime jokes
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.