Crime jokes
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
Memes
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.