Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Crime Jokes
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
