Competition jokes

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?

Arsenal can win trophies and win games.

What's the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?

I don't know.

"1v1," said Kobe. LeBron James says, "Ok, bet," and bet the money. Bro, ok, let's get it."

Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

What's long, hard, and bloody?

The Boston Marathon.

My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.

Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

Falco: Wat...

What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.

I wonder if [I] would have rekt Hitler in a 1v1 build battle in Fortnite.

Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?

The motherboard was nowhere to be found.

Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!

Why was the booty so good at poker?

Because it always had a good PAIR.

What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?

I AM keeping Trak!

How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Walking.

Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"

(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)

Poirier: Really, bitch?

Why does a cheetah cheat to always win?

MISSING!! MISSING!! ⚠️⚠️

Name: Kylian Fraudbappe Missing: 28/6/2021 vs Switzerland Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parc des Princes, Paris.

Last seen: Manuel Akanji’s back pocket.

Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.

Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.

Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"

Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.