Win Jokes

Bell

DODO
·

WHY DID THE SCIENTIST WANTED TO TAKE OFF HIS DOORBELL

BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WIN THE NO BELL PRIZE

Puns

Anonymous
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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

Chuck Norris

Anonymous
·

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Emo

Anonymous
·

How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.

Dark Humor

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How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights

Puns

Anonymous
·

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Puns

·

My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.

Michael Jackson

Senip
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Why can’t Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.

Depression

Anonymous
·

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

Chuck Norris

Anonymous
·

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.

Emo

·

How do win an argument against an emo? Kick the chair!

War

Anonymous
·

what war did africa not win? The water fight

Common

Chess player
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What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win

Little Johnny

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So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

Offensive

aussie mate
·

i swear in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers cant even win a war, might as well send all your school shooters over there

Trump

mick
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I was asking people who knew trump if he would win a second term . Stormy said " no way, he doesn't have 2 in him!"

Pool

Kim Jong Un
·

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

0

Cheetah

Tenya Bailey
·

A cheetah and a lion are racing... The cheetah wins...

The lion says, "You a cheetah!"

The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"

Football

Tanner Pomeranz
·

A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.

However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.

So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.

He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.

The man replies, “No.”

The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”

The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”

“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”

“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”