I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. – Against Medusa.

Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.”

Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.”

Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”

Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”

Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

WHY DID THE SCIENTIST WANTED TO TAKE OFF HIS DOORBELL

BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WIN THE NO BELL PRIZE

Did you hear the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Stephan hawking always wins musical chairs as he’s always sitting down

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Not being retarded

I didn’t trip and fall… I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning :3

Pedophiles don’t win races because they like to come in a little behind.

How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus

what do you say win your brother has to many jeans gene lousise

why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

There are three men walking down the road and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm there is a cow a monkey and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money and the farm is going out of business. One of the men’s sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest but it’s so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them in suggested that they put a cork up the cows behind. The first guy says okay then go put a cork there. I don’t want to do it you do it no you do it. The third guy says let’s just get the monkey to do it. And the monkey puts the cork in the couch behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm. The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of cow. Guys we need to take the cork out of the cow he says. Well I’m not going to do it you do it, no you do it. The third guy says let’s just get the monkey to do it again. So the monkey uncorks a cow. And there was a huge explosion… a few days later the three men wake up in the hospital. The doctor walks up to the first man what happened he asks the first man replies all I remember is that a horrible sound. The doctor walks up to the second man and asks what happened. All I remember is that horrible smell… The doctor walks up to the third man and again ask the same question. The third man looks at him and says all I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in.

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

What was the winning play at the leper football game?

A hand off up the middle.

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