I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.”

Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.”

Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”

Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”

Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. – Against Medusa.

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?


Did you hear the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.



Stephan hawking always wins musical chairs as he’s always sitting down

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

Q: why did the scarecrow from the wizard of oz win an award? A: Because he was outstanding IN HIS FIELD.

If you bet on Russian roulette even if you win you still lose

Pedophiles don’t win races because they like to come in a little behind.

I was asking people who knew trump if he would win a second term . Stormy said " no way, he doesn’t have 2 in him!"

I didn’t trip and fall… I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning :3

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Not being retarded

How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus

A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.

However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.

So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.

He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.

The man replies, “No.”

The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”

The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”

“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”

“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”

why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.