Competition jokes

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?

The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.

Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?

Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)

My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.

Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?

A: Eat my dust.

What's a rapper's favorite sport?

Rhyme racing.

If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.

Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.

Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good rappers always stand out!

We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.

Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......

Why are Americans such good chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨

Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne

Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket

⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.

He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?

Arsenal can win trophies and win games.

What's the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?

I don't know.