Competition jokes

Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!

So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.

What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.

Girl: Hi (flirt)

Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...

I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.

Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!

How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?

Because he was a cheetah!

"1v1 me in Clash, you're trash, bro."

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?

A: Eat my dust.

What's a rapper's favorite sport?

Rhyme racing.

My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.

Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?

The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.

Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?

Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)

If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.