Lose jokes
Wy can't a dinosaw ror? Becase it losed it's voucal kord.
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind, it’s too pointless.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
Why will America always lose in chess?
It lost its two towers!
South's losing to Broncos. 😹
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."