Competition jokes

Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

Why did the legless kid think he won a race? Because everybody already left.

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite." Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly." Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game." Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..." Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.

Gravity sure is fast.

Who's the best at musical chairs?

Stephen Hawking.

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked. "I'm a Paralympian," he replied. "Boxing?" "No, ... hurdles."

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.