Competition jokes
Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?
- To win
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
Why did the lettuce win the race?
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.