Competition jokes
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
Why'd the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice.
Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?
- To win
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
Why did the lettuce win the race?
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.