Competition jokes
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢
NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝
MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔
LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿
POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅
"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬
"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite." Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly." Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game." Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..." Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
Comment your favorite sport.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.