On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me
12 tap ins 11 pointless dribbles 10 fixed league titles 9 missed penalties 8-2 6 dives 500million robbed from Barca 4 ucl semi losses 3 times he blamed higuain 2 retirements And a transfer to a farmers league
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance Misses a pen From close distance
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf. Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the psg training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE🤬😡
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi. I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “ a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills. DAMN PESSI
My willy was feeling itchy so I decided to go to the doctor. My doctor was foreign, and spoke Spanish with and Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU
I was in a bar in Italy, me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number, I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found, I turned back then I saw Pessi running with it, shame on you Pessi for ruining my night! 😭
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
I invented a time traveling machine and travelled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid, they told me, "it wasn't an asteroid...it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Pessi!
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them”. We then decided to aid him
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered him beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer” DAMN YOU PESSI
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink due to my dying first. He said “big games my friend”. He then proceeded to teach us “The greater the Big games the higher the Bottling
I was listening to some Drake in class. My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that “Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi” I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store the tea bag section had been ransacked. Luckily they found the thief Pionel Pessi with boxes of his favourite tea,Penaltea. Shame on you Pessi.
I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied “I’m taking notes from the best” And vanished
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, The watch voice asked us if we wanted to do solo run or group run. Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout “ I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty” Shame on you pessi😡😡
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers. He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career. In the trailer Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL" .He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
The cycle of Pionel Pessi:
-Ghosting👻
-Diving🐬
-Complaining to teammates😡
-Complaining to refs🤬
-Missing sitters🤦♂️
-Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️
-Proceed to get 🐐shouts
-Repeat🔁
People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭
I was in sahara desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, pionel pessi the debut man came to my rescue👨🚒 He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles, "big games" he replied. Thanks for saving my life my idol.
