What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Creature Jokes
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster.
Pokemon: Are you a Flareon? Why?
Because you’re a sexy fox.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
Big, ugly, and very weird.
Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?
Because they're believers.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?
A. The baby girl.