Competition jokes
Why wasn’t the orphan allowed on the game show?
The show was called "Family Feud."
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
Orphans don't like "Family Feud."
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
The Chaaaaaaaaaampioooooooooons!
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
Who will win the war: like for Russia, dislike for Ukraine?
A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.