Come jokes

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

How come orphans know how to do laundry?

Cause that's usually the mom's job.

Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!

I can't come in, because I'm too high.

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?

Getting them to come out of their shell.

The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,

"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"

What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?

How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?

Come post!

"Knock knock."

"Come in."