Come jokes

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

Wanna play dolls?

I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?

Once they turn 18, they never come back.

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

I can't believe this!

Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.

Why do high tides come up so high?

Because they come up to say hi.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home.

Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.

Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?

A period.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”