Come

Come jokes

Dad

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

Grandpa

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

Turtle

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?

Getting them to come out of their shell.

Massage

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

Memes

Come memes

Wood

The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,

"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"

Port

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

Fruit

How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?

Come post!

Department

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

School

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

Grave

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Orphan

Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?

Kid: Sure.

Dad: Come on.

Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?

Dad: Go in.

Costume

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*

Dad

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.