Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
Come Jokes
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead. 😁
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
