Come jokes
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
WJE Discord Server coming tomorrow!
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
I can't come in, because I'm too high.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
"Knock knock."
"Come in."
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."