children's jokes
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Ukraine be like dead children...
RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
Memes
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.