children's jokes
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Ukraine be like dead children...
RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.