children's jokes
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."