children's jokes
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*