children's jokes
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
Ukraine be like dead children...
RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
How do homeless people punish their children?
What are their children going to do? Go to their room?
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.