Chance jokes

Orphan

Anonymous · 4 years ago

What games do orphans hate?

Bingo.

Restraining Order

Anonymous · 2 years ago

You know why they call me 007?

0 girls.

0 chances.

7 restraining orders.

Album

TaylorSwiftBoat · 2 years ago

The image shows a social media post with three comments. The first comment, from chancetherapper, asks people to spam the comments below with "I LOVE MY WIFE." The second comment from payne_norton, says, "Bro we are making fun of you because your album was fucking terrible you can't embrace the meme." The third comment, from chancetherapper to payne_norton, says, "I LOVE MY WIIIIFE".

Chance memes

Liberal

Shower thoughts · 10 months ago

The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.

Russian Roulette

Lovely perv · 4 years ago

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

Wife

Daddydildo69 · 4 years ago

My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.

Vagina

Anonymous · 5 years ago

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

Date

emo · 3 years ago

rate me honestly

The image asks: "Would I date you" and provides four answers with emojis: "YASSSS" with heart eyes and kissy face, "Maybe" with a slightly smiling face and two hearts, "Idk" with a neutral face, and "Not a chance" with a hand waving.

Relationship

The Unknown King of Moderation · 2 years ago

The image shows two sides of a text message conversation between two people, with the text "No one: 11 yr old relationships:" above them.

Imposter

Why should you care · 1 year ago

The image shows a two-panel meme about a role-playing game. The top panel shows a 20-sided die with a 20 facing up and the text "You shout 'That king is an imposter! I'm the real king!' You get an instant kingdom." The bottom panel shows the same die with the number 1 facing up and the text "You shout 'That king is the real king! I'm an imposter!' That's not what I meant to shout." Both die are laying on some wood.

Pistol

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic featuring a stick figure with a troll face. The first panel reads, "How to have a higher chance of winning in Russian roulette." The second panel shows the stick figure holding a pistol and reads, "Step 1: acquire a semi automatic pistol instead of a revolver". The third panel shows the stick figure holding the pistol and another stick figure with a concerned face and reads, "Step 2: tell your friend to go first." The fourth panel reads, "Problem death?" and shows the troll face again.

Pokemon card

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️ · 3 years ago

Pokémon

A purple bow with a face is designed as a Pokemon card, with the title Bow, moves such as Hypnosis and Kick, and a description of each move.

Willy Wonka

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A picture of Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka with text above that reads, "None of the new Willy Wonka movies have understood that Gene Wilder's version of Wonka worked because you felt like there was a real chance he was just gonna sit there and watch those kids die."

Artifact

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 3 years ago

sussy game artifact

The image shows two in-game items. One is labeled "Lube", a legendary artifact that increases dodge chance. The other is a "Walking Cane", an epic artifact that increases speed.

Dice

LoserIsPro · 3 years ago

I was rolling dice online and this is the first two I get (again)

Two orange dice are displayed, one showing '4' and the other '20'. The total is '24'. Below the dice, there is a button with the text 'Roll'.

Answer

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 2 years ago

A light gray cat with a furrowed brow looks at a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" style question. The question reads: "If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct?" The possible answers are: A: 25%, B: 0%, C: 50%, D: 25%.

Boy

Shitpost master-general · 11 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet by Jared Taylor, @RealJarTaylor, on X.com. The tweet states, "Black boys from households that make $700,000 a year go to prison at the same rate as white boys from households that make $36,000 a year." Below this, it adds, "AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE BECAUSE OF SYSTEMIC RACISM !! The Left does great research for us." Underneath the text, there is a graph titled "THE UPSHOT: Extensive Data Shows Punishing Reach of Racism for Black Boys," which illustrates the "Share of the men incarcerated on April 1, 2010." The graph plots incarceration rates against parental household income, showing a blue line for "Black men" and a yellow line for "White men." An annotation within the graph reads, "The sons of black families from the top 1 percent had about the same chance of being incarcerated on a given day as the sons of white families earning $36,000." Points on the graph are labeled "Families making $36,000 per year" and "Families in the top 1 percent," indicating a "Same Incarceration rate."

Rapper

TaylorSwiftBoat · 2 years ago

A tweet saying "Chance the rapper dropped 'The Big Day' And America responded by having 3 straight mass shootings."

Album release

RapBoat · 2 years ago

The image shows a text about Chance the Rapper releasing an album after three years. He says he is proud, but the text continues with the reaction of the entire rap community who say "Hahaha. This sucks man." Below the text there is a picture of a man looking up with the caption "Hahaha. This sucks man."

Survival

Anonymous · 5 months ago

How cavedivers be when entering "satans dick hole" with NO chance of survival💖

An image of David Corenswet as Superman flying through the air with a very silly expression, wide eyes, and his tongue sticking out. The meme caption (from the context) describes this as how cave divers look when entering a cave with a lethal name and zero chance of survival.

Chance memes

Community talk

jomoki1

5 months ago

hi bbg i have some good news i want to tell you!!! im gonna call u tonight if i get the chance

scooter22

5 months ago

[Intro] Nothing but a new bag, yeah Nothing but a new bag

[Verse 1] Yeah, nothing but a new bag to get in myself Nothing but a new glass to put on my shelf I was too gone to be feeling selfish Fuck changing, no, I can't propel it Waiting on chances to feel open Taking on dances in the moment Chase the recognition, get noticed I give two fucks ’bout the dude who wrote it But I'm all clear in the head for once I'm off… Read more

Anonymous (Original Author)

8 months ago

(As per Cosmo's request)

Jack opened his drying eyes, awoken by a piercing ray of sunlight shining through crooked blinds. A gentle smell wafted in from the corner of what his temporarily blinded eyes knew to be a dilapidated kitchen. It was the one good thing about his life, that smell. He closed his eyes once more and awaited his call.

“Jacky, breakfast time!” beckoned that oh-so-familiar girlish voice. “Oh, sil… Read more

Community