Plant jokes
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife? The first is easier to bury.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
materwelon
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
You pecan do it!
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.