What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
A depressed kid went to go high five a tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
Where were the first orange trees ππ³ planted?
In Orange County.
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
