Plant

Plant Jokes

Wife

What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?

The first is easier to bury.

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  • Orphan

    What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?

    Both their parents were separated.

    Skeleton

    What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?

    Secret

    Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?

    Because they are full of ears!

    Now that was a corny joke.

    And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.

    Emo

    Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.

    Watermelon

    My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

    Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

    Butt

    How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.

    KGB

    The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

    The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

    The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

    "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"