Chance Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Doctor: what is your zodiac sign?

Patient: cancer why?

Doctor: what are the chances

Patient: of what?

I Didnt ask:❌️

Im sorry but it doesnt seem that anyone meeded this information and there doesnt seem to be any chance anyone will need this imformation in the future: ✔️

3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.

Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Will just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?

Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

So there is this button there's a 50% chance you get a million dollars there's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle make them press the button and if they give the money you just push the orphan over take their money and run away because who they going to tell their parents.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died. The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!" He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something. Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"

this is a lot like anal sex

you always miss 100% of shots if you take it

Would you like to win 100k? Commet on my next video for a chance to win

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I saw you when I got chance at the adoption centre 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

one day i caught my sister talking to my girlfriend and she said "you never told me your Lesbian" and i said "no,not at all" my girlfriend ask "why did you not tell her" and i said " because every time i bring a girl home i hear to much noise in her room and i never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash" and she said "yeah,the trash is her junk"